Hello there,
I'm currently in the remote part of North West Bali.
Last night the stars came out. I decided to have a pre-bed soak in one of the volcanic hot spring pools.
An elderly lady appeared, and got in.
Then another four. And another three.
I'm sat with 8 of them, having a lively conversation.
They tell me they are all from Australia and on a retreat, connecting around a mantra workshop.
They all are experiencing the magic of Bali. Harmony. Inspiration. Connection. Feeling change and wondering how they will take it home.
Nice chat.
They get up leave as another lady arrives and announces she's late to the party.
It's quiet with the gaggle of gals gone.
Just me and this other lady. She's in her 70s. She seems shy. I strike up a conversation.
She asks me why I'm here. How I ended up in Bali. Why. What happened.
I'm happy to share. Its the environment.
Stars. Volcano. Ocean. Fireflies. A full moon.
There's parallels between us. Different background, generation, different country.
But still human.
The steam rises with the light smell of sulphur from the spring.
The conversation goes deep, quickly.
Sulphuric soul.
Honesty, it seems, can be easier between strangers.
She and her husband retired last year.
Within 6 months they discovered she has pancreatic cancer and he has dementia.
*.......*
She waited her whole life to start to live. Only to confront death.
She has regrets. Resentment. She felt she did all the right things. Played by the same rules as everyone. Did what others told her to do. And she says, they still are. Telling her what she should do wth this diagnosis. How to live. Obsessed with doctors and death.
She swears. "F___ them!"
She laughs. Not how you often hear a septuagenarian speak.
Now, she wants to be free. Facing the biggest change in her life -- she's ready.
"What do you want?" I ask
Different people. Different places. Different experiences. Different focus.
"What a waste. Why did it take this to make me see?" she says.
So we talk about it.
Obligations. Opportunity. Love. Fear. Future. Surrender. Meaning. Big questions.
Change.
Everyone fears change, deep down.
Because the perspective, people, places around us often don't let us.
And the reason isn't strong enough. Yet.
Here's what I see.
People only change:
When they see enough - they're inspired to. Awareness.
When they learn enough - they know how. Experience.
When they receive enough - they're able to. Empowerment.
When they hurt enough - they have to. Pain.
Most people ignore the first three.
They can never ignore the last.
We're a blip on the face of existence.
We're nothing. And we're everything.
We take so much of the wrong things too seriously. And not enough of the right things, seriously enough.
Diane says so. There's a connection between us. And she sees it too.
"No one has ever said these things to me before" she says.
Suddenly it's past midnight. Time to go.
"What's your name?" I ask.
"Diane" she says. "What's yours?"
"Richard" I say.
"Oh." Diane says. "That's my husbands name too".
Woah.
I hold her hand. Wish her the best.
Moments like this don't feel like a coincidence. They feel like an intersection. Where change can actually happen.
We all have the same life. The same choices. Our circumstances might feel different. But at some point we all might face the same.
The life you seek is on the other side of the choices you aren't making.
You don't have to wait till pain makes you have to change - you can choose it, today.
My hope is that you do. It matters more than you know.